i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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