Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
