Umm I'm too high to move.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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