Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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