just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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