That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
