If that was your dad, he is hot
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
