I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
