biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
