I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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