she woke up with a sticky ear
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
wow bdsm is so cute
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
