Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize