I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
