I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
