I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's never too late to be topless.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
