What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
