I'm really into asian looking animals
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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