I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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