dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
God, I missed his penis.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
