she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
