You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
