It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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