Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
