Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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