I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
