do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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