i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
