so that wasnt chicken after all
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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