Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
