Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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