escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
