what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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