At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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