I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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