Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
