yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
