is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
