let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
