P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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