I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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