I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
try to milk me bitch
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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