well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
