it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
