Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think my mom watched the whole time
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
