You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize