Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
