You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
