Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
