Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
birth control should be required to get into college
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
