laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
