i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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