Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
