Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Randomize
