he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
