The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
