if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize