Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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