Who did Billy Mays play for?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Alive.
So much puke
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
ok first of all what the fuck
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
