he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
