All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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