it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Blood and glitter go together right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
