sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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