Christians are straight up FREAKS
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
