Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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