I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
