i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
