he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
