this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
