the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
