Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
