he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
