there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
