Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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