why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
