at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
