Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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