is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
