i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
