I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
