hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
