Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
