toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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